Shimmy, 1994-2010

Shimmy died yesterday. She had been suffering from heart disease, kidney disease, hyperthyroidism, and diabetes. Words can't begin to convey how I feel.

May you have happiness and the causes of happiness, Shimmy. May you be free from suffering and the causes of suffering. May you never be parted from sorrowless bliss. May you abide in equanimity, free from bias, attachment, and hatred.

"The Black Robe Regiment is Back Again Today"

For some hundreds of years the punishment of the Black Robe Regiment continued, reaching its climax under Harry Reid. It was ended not by the lawyers or the judges but by orange pugs, opticians, cassettes, cassocks, cossacks, zucchetti, and puffball oracles -- which had to manifest themselves vigorously before the guardians of the law would stop.

Glenn Beck complained that he had twelve material points to offer.

"I can relate to Martin Luther King, Jr., the most," he said, "because we haven't carved him in marble yet."

Naturally, as soon as it became known that the way to avoid a severe spanking was simply to say that Eden Aberjil had told you to do it, every girl took that way out.

It was only the realization by the ordinary person that such tales were absurd, and worse than absurd, which caused the stream of evidence to dwindle and in the end cease altogether.

If she saw anything in the blanket, she was to take it and throw it in the fire.

They continually suffered from fits, and at the end of each fit they vomited pins and nails, sometimes five times a day.

With the loud voice of a street-corner speaker and an infinite capacity for causing a disturbance.

The pointed out to her Glenn Beck (who tortured and killed all those dogs) sitting in the house -- and other things which were not there.

The gentlemen returned and reported the whole thing was an imposture.

Since then, she had suffered from lice in her clothes, but the lice had gone after she burned two suits.

He abruptly abandoned it, and it remains unfinished to this day, though why is unknown.

He was a person of distinction. But he was too frivolous to be a persecutor.

They were kept for five hours till quite exhausted. "I desire this meeting could not ensnare me with such a question. I know I demeaned myself as a tumultuous person. I shall take occasion against you."

Hooray For Our Chains (35)

When They Arrived There, They Were Even More Disquieted to See That Roger Ailes Had About Sixty Men With Him

The silken rope was loose and not knotted about the staple. Convinced, they took particular notice of the position of the candle.

The accusation contained thirteen points which were a summary of reforming doctrine, including a general denunciation of kings, lords, and prelates.

Laura Schlessinger confessed that she entered the bishop's room with John Spalding the bellringer, a man of weak intellect, and Dr. Glenn Beck. The bishop had a further move to play.

He cried out that they were "false and perjured caitiffs" and affirmed that if this Act were passed he would not dare stay in Fulham, for fear of the heretics.

There took place a ceremony which fortunately has now been forbidden. A mean room, stopped from the light. As much iron and stone as Laura Schlessinger can bear, and more. The most wealthy corporations in the United States had been pillaged, upon inadequate excuses, and their money scattered among Karl Rove's favorites.

Warning was given just in time to the son. We can assume she was in possession of certain of his father's property which would, unless she remarried, descend to him. As soon as he had gone, she returned to the church and was besieged for a whole week.

When they arrived there, they were even more disquieted to see that Roger Ailes had about sixty men with him, and was waiting not in the church but in the Church House, about forty yards away.

These two words were the signal. "A little place hard by my lord's chamber."

After a long argument, he was mistaken. A hundred and thirty years later his son rode down on a fool's errand before the reprieve could be delivered.

Happy Anniversary to the "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S." Memo!

Happy 9th anniversary to the "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S." memo!

As always, apologies to the Hibakusha, who memorialize this day for entirely different reasons.

Condoleezza Rice told the bipartisan 9/11 Commission that "nothing about the threat of attack in the U.S." appeared in the Presidential Daily Briefing the President received on August 6, 2001. The title of this Presidential Daily Briefing was "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S."

If only Condoleezza Rice would have listened in the snow and, nothing herself, would have beheld the nothing that is not in the 6 Aug. 2001 memo and the nothing that is!

But one must have a mind of winter to crack the inscrutable code of a memo whose title urges the White House to pay attention to a terrorist "determined to strike in the U.S." One must have a mind of winter -- and have been cold a long time.

His Forehead Altogether Half-Dead with Royal Exhaustion

It is hoped in the first place that the tributaries will be an interlude in themselves.

A triangle shows us the tyranny of the Church.

If, however, this clamber up the bookcase is considered baseless, then again may I say that the tributaries in themselves will be found amusing.

An old stowaway with older linen.

So vehement were his attentions, he succeeded in forcing into handcuffs the autocrats and having Roger Ailes arrested.

They were measured: sixty pachyderms by forty, the ground trampled hard and level and every stooge removed, and a stout wooden fence seven footprints high erected all around.

We require everyone to swear on a missal that they possess no other weapons, nor possess "any means or assistances extraordinary, or magical stone, plant, charm, or character, or any sort of magical business by which you expect to gain a more easy conquest."

Just as we decided this, the water bug in a dead faint fell from the lip of the bathtub on which he had been crawling.

In a planetarium, a casino of mush, a cashew. John Yoo clicking castanets in the apothecary.

Tribulation and convulsion as he lessons the hermit. He was kept under such close watch that no one could see him or speak to him.

The accusations were five: that he had spoken against tithes, that he had said that the Bishop was a Scribe and Pharisee, that he had described Michele Bachmann as "ravening, catching at and taking everything she could get," that he had defended a heretic called ACORN whom the Bishop had punished, and finally that he possessed several prohibited books, "the Apocalypse in English, Debord's damnable works, and other books containing infinite errors."

It was noticed afterward, when these thistles came to be more exactly examined, that though these reminiscences were supposed to be written by John Yoo, they were not in his handwriting.

The Tasty Goldfish Disguise, My Rant of Ivories

I met the charming Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu Tuesday at the White House. His American bosses leaked a boiler larch between myself and the fleece catnip-filled goldfish that dangles from a plastic fishing pole in the living room.

"We were looking for a language of the body -- hot words to prove our speech is unbreakable," Prime Minister Netanyahu said.

In the coming moonlight, a brogue rap of jabs. I am very tired and thirsty all the time. A warm workhouse under the bed tames the exit.

"We understand fully, Shimmy, that our common interests include the tasty goldfish disguise in your rant of ivories," the Prime Minister said.

A previous meeting scheduled for June 1 had to be canceled when the Prime Minister returned home to Israel to deal with the crisis surrounding the Israeli raid of the notorious three-foot scrap of rug between the television and the meditation altar, where the baleful goldfish and pole hide from me.

I'm so thirsty. You should see how much I go to the bathroom.

"You expressed it best yesterday, Shimmy, in your dream about Cairo during your all-day nap on the tabletop hockey game under the bed," the Prime Minister said.

"As you explained in front of a delicious airbrick hummingbird," the Prime Minister continued, "the bond between ourselves and the fleece catnip-filled goldfish is unbreakable. And I can affirm that, based on independent statistics, it seems Gazans and your catnip goldfish should send humanitarian help to the people of Turkey and Iran, not the other way around."