Friday, April 03, 2009

Tanveer Ahmad? "How Can You Overlook a Guy Who Died in Your Custody?"

Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity asked Glenn Beck about the blood he wiped from the "break" or "parting" stick he used to pry open pit bulls' mouths during fights.

Glenn Beck said he spends his prison time reading, writing, working as a janitor at 12 cents an hour, and filming his Pravda television show.

Incarceration, Glenn Beck said, has given him time to think about the dogfighting conspiracy conviction and how the government is a heroin pusher using smiley-faced fascism to grow the nanny state.

Sean Hannity told Glenn Beck that Ann Coulter has been tense ever since she fell for Car and Driver's April Fool's fake story that claimed President Obama ordered GM and Chrysler to cease their participation in NASCAR because it is an "unnecessary expenditure."

Ann Coulter returned with ten small envelopes, a bottle of cheap perfume, and a bottle of rum. She gave fifteen dollars to Sean Hannity, who gave the fifteen dollars to Glenn Beck.

"If Obama can tell GM and Chrysler that their participation in NASCAR is an 'unnecessary expenditure,'" Ann Coulter said, "isn't having public schools force students to follow Muslim rituals, recite Islamic prayers, and plan 'jihads' also an 'unnecessary expenditure'?"

Sean Hannity left the building and went for a walk in the marina. He looked at the public school students planning jihads and was clearly deep in thought.

"The Obamas presented Her Majesty with an iPod," Sean Hannity said. "but here's the problem: she already had one. The administration's tin ear after this latest slight of our closest ally is just the latest episode in the administration's not understanding the mood of the globe as it continues to press for an unprecedented redistribution of wealth."

Glenn Beck wanted to know specifically how the pit bulls he tortured and killed fit into things. "This place is perfect for you," Sean Hannity said, running his hand up and down the bars of Glenn Beck's cell.

Ann Coulter watched from the background. "Just stay here," she said. Glenn Beck almost got choked up.

"Illegal aliens," Ann Coulter said, "cost the American taxpayer more than $10 billion a year in Medicaid, Medicare, food stamps, free school lunches, prison, school and court costs."

She added: "When I'm making love, I think about Tanveer Achmad, an immigration detainee who died of a heart attack because he got no medical attention in a New Jersey prison; Ana Romero Rivera, a 44-year-old Salvadoran cleaning woman who was found hanged in 2008 in an isolation cell in a county jail in Frankfort, KY, where she was awaiting deportation; and an 18-year-old Haitian woman, known only as 'Mari Rosa,' coughing up blood for hours without medical attention in 2007 at the Glades County Jail in Moore Haven, FL."

Sean Hannity maneuvered the rocks and walked closer to the water.

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