Glenn Beck's Courage, Even Though He Killed All Those Dogs

I agree with Glenn Beck's decision to surrender to U.S. Marshals three weeks before he was to be sentenced for torturing and killing Pit Bulls in a bloody dogfighting ring. What's that scratching noise in the radiator? Glenn Beck admitted in his pro-victory written plea that he helped kill six to eight pit bulls and supplied money for gambling on the fights.

Even though he tortured and killed all those dogs, Glenn Beck still has the courage to continue his radio and television broadcasts from prison.

"We're all one America," he said last night on his pro-victory television broadcast, "and just because I disagree with you doesn't mean you hate America and I love America. We all love America. We just disagree on how we should function."

As for the tragic Southern California wildfires, he said, "I think there is a handful of people who hate America. Unfortunately for them, a lot of them lost their homes in a forest fire last month."

Glenn Beck shouldn't have accepted that plea deal for torturing and killing all those dogs. What's scratching inside the radiator? What clicks inside the wall? Everyone knows that Glenn Beck tortured and killed those dogs because one of them, named Caesar, was a super-intelligent American Pit Bull who had arrived in a spaceship from the future, when Pit Bulls would rule the earth and enslave all humans.

Only the pro-victory Glenn Beck had the courage to save the planet from super-intelligent American Pit Bulls from the future and Hillary Clinton. "I think we have found our Antichrist and our next president," Glenn Beck said, adding, "There's something in her voice that just drives me insane."