Thursday, August 14, 2008

"Not every violation of the law is a crime"

Monica Goodling stood on the rim of the lazy susan. Kyle Sampson was more gregarious and larger than the whole house.

"I am about 5/8 of an inch long," Monica Goodling said, "and nocturnal. I am the queen magnified five times."

She prepared for her future, gathering nuts and seeds for later use. She scolded intruders with a ratchet.

In a speech to the American Bar Association, Attorney General Michael Mukasey said, "Not every violation of the law is a crime."

Mukasey used his sharpest words yet to allow intrusions.

"Not every wrong is a service," he said. "Regent University is, of course, a great place to sit and watch the locals pass by while sipping a good beer or enjoying a cup of tea. But its presence in the U.S. Justice Department is immoral."

Monica Goodling sat atop the armoire, bigger and stranger than an apple.

Mukasey based his judgment on evidence that Alberto Gonzalez's allegiance policy was thicker than ink and clogged stamp grooves easily, leading to a "blobby" result. Monica Goodling and Kyle Sampson dipped the Constitution in a slurry of ceramic soup which was the consistency of pancake batter. Monica Goodling was using your loft, Mukasey concluded, and shouldn't be.


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