Thursday, July 31, 2008

Roundtable Discussion with John McCain and Robert Novak (Part 3 of 3)

JOHN McCAIN: In addition to strengthening the Veterans Administration, we should give veterans the option to use a simple plastic card.

SHIMMY: On March 29, 2007, you voted against an emergency spending bill that would have provided more than $1 billion in additional funds to the Department of Veterans Affairs. On April 26, 2007, you voted against Sen. Daniel Akaka's amendment that would have provided an additional $430 million to the Department of Veterans Affairs for medical services for outpatient care and treatment for veterans.

JOHN McCAIN: In a scene Lance Armstrong would recognize, a throng of adoring fans awaits Senator Obama in Paris -- and that's just the American press.

SHIMMY: On March 14, 2006, you voted against increasing veterans' medical services funding by $1.5 billion to be paid for by closing corporate tax loopholes. On March 10, 2004, you voted against creating a reserve fund to allow for an increase in veterans' medical care by $1.8 billion by eliminating tax loopholes.

ROBERT NOVAK: There was a huge reception for Barack Obama in the Middle East this past weekend. People were screaming, chasing him, hanging on his every word. And that was just the U.S. press corps.

SHIMMY: Did the bodies of these saints join with their spirits in a resurrection to meet with the Washington press corps and Barack Obama? Were all news reporters alive on earth simultaneously transported to meet Barack Obama, along with those reporters who preceded them in death, having been transformed into immortal bodies like Jesus's body (often referred to as the "resurrection body")?

ROBERT NOVAK: Raoul Vaneigem says hierarchical organization is like a system of grain hoppers lined with sharp blades.

JOHN McCAIN: While it flays us alive, Power cleverly persuades us that we are flaying each other.

SHIMMY: Robert Novak, you were not in Europe covering Barck Obama because you've been "left behind." Because you tried to kill that guy who was crossing the street on the "Walk" signal.

ROBERT NOVAK: This car is speeding away. What’s going through my mind is, you just can’t hit a pedestrian and drive away.

JOHN McCAIN: The Iraqi Army is stronger and fighting harder. Ngo Dinh Diem and the rest of the Iraqi Government have met most of the benchmarks for political progress we demanded of them, and Saigon's largest Sunni party recently rejoined the government. In Iraq, we are no longer on the doorstep of defeat, but on the road to victory.

SHIMMY: Have you washed all the blood off your fender, Robert Novak?

ROBERT NOVAK: He's not dead. That's the main thing.


Blogger A. said...

I keep thinking about writing a post in which I would discuss Novak's brain tumor. But I can't strike the right balance of cruelty and irony that nature hasn't struck already.

Poor bastard.

Friskies to you,

1:11 PM  
Blogger Shimmy said...


Yours, with Purrlicious Chicken Flavored Natural Organic Treats,

7:44 AM  

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