My Index

Percentage of cats asleep in bathtubs who say they are Democrat-leaning and Republican-leaning, respectively: 70, 16

Number of years since this poll began in 1990 in which the gap favoring either party was so large: 0

Percentage of registered voters who think that Joe Lieberman punishes us because we do not love him enough: 93

Percentage of Chicago residents who believed this spring that squirrels tasted either "good" or "excellent": 84

Percentage of U.S. citizens overall who believed this: 73

Percentage of shopping-mall and party Santas who believe that Glenn Beck should have surrendered to U.S. Marshals for torturing and killing Pit Bulls in a bloody dogfighting ring: 54

Number of Christmas trees FedExed last year to U.S. troops instead of body armor: 11,854

Number of months it takes the Pentagon to ask for repayment of enlistment bonuses from severely wounded veterans: 6

Number of seconds it takes to lick clean a bowl of French Vanilla yogurt on the floor: 32