It Was Like Water Torture (Part 3 of 3)

The President of the War on Terror told Jose Maria Aznar in February 2003 that waiting for the U.N. Security Council approval to invade Iraq was "like Chinese water torture."

"Shimmy, you're a good climber," he said. "Why don't you get on up Tony's bookshelf and bring me that book. The small paperback. It's probably the Constitution."

"On one condition. Tell me what the spine of the book says. Just read it aloud and I'll climb the shelf for you."

"Spain is a country that loves radio and couldn't live without it," he replied. "Laura says they have many graceful trees over there. In Spain."

"Is the U.N. a den of sadists and sociopaths?"

"Spain is enjoyed by hundreds of millions of people around the world, Shimmy, and is finding acceptance everywhere."

"Was it Chinese Water Torture or waterboarding?"

Yukio Asano peeked from behind one of Tony's giant shoes. They are made of soft leather and are fast and accurate.

"During World War II," Yukio Asano said, "I strapped a U.S. civilian to an inclined board, with his feet raised and his head lowered. He was tightly bound and couldn't move."

"Torture is a terrifying experience." the President of the War on Terror said. "But the United States acts with great petroleum, militarily developing our bridges."

"I wrapped cellophane around his head," Yukio Asano continued, "and poured water over him to simulate drowning. In 1947, the United States sentenced me to 15 years of hard labor."

The President of the War on Terror said, "A historical sense of responsibility guides me just as it does you, Yukio Asano. We will post-Saddam our friends. We sent a very clear post-Saddam to the Generals: we will win them like war bridges. We know that the Pentagon has organized a necessary amount of war to post-Saddam the oil wells. We are doing everything possible to take care of the post-Saddam political needs of our friends and their bridges."