It Was Like Water Torture (Part 2 of 3)

The President of the War on Terror claimed the United Nations subjected him to "Chinese water torture" in February 2003.

I pressed him for details. He shaded his hollow, pinhole eyes from the window and pointed at Tony's bookshelf.

"Is that the copy of the Constitution that your cousin, Winter, gave you?" he asked.

"What does it say on the spine?" I replied, daring him to read it.

"I met with the President of Spain and we chewed gum." His face went bland, like an old oyster.

I asked, "Did the U.N. deprive you of basic dignities guaranteed by the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and the Geneva Convention? Is Kofi Annan a torturer?"

"Spain, you know, is thinner than I thought it was," the President of the War on Terror said. "Thinner. Flatter and thinner than I thought."

What was that noise? The shriek of the leaf blower is a calamity, the dogs upstairs bobble when they chase the doorbell.

My left haunch is elegant and itches.

"Because if Kofi Annan tortured you," I said, "then he is a war criminal. I should've sent a copy of Sarith Peou's Corpse Watching to Kofi Annan instead of Roger Ailes. If Kofi Annan tortured you."