Sunday, June 17, 2007

Episode Seventeen: "Ants Crawl My Drunken Arms"

MARINE GENERAL PETER PACE: Mary, do you know what love is?

MARY: In this little voice you say that you're telling me what love is.

MARINE GENERAL PETER PACE: Love comes to you with a handsome mug and skips straight to the hard stuff.

MARY: Oh, please. The city is the place for me. The box of summer sweaters under the bed. Some conversation about letting me out the back door on summer mornings. Some bourgeois worry from Tony and Shelly about the squat Abu Ghraib pyramid I dumped on the floor last night. Ants swarming a stray Purina NF Formula food pellet.

MARINE GENERAL PETER PACE: Love is mean and it throws you out the window.

MARY: Who's more immoral? Marine General Peter Pace? Or Karl Rove sticking a rod down a duck's throat fattening up on foie gras? Why did you make Monica Goodling cry?

MARINE GENERAL PETER PACE: Regent University's presence in the Justice Department is immoral. The U.S. Military should not condone immoral acts.

MARY: Dear Peter Pace: You are such a small unimportant thing. I hope to God that people think terrible ideas about you. You live in California, you are 13 years old, and you are a pizza delivery girl wearing purple jeans and a pink t-shirt.

MARINE GENERAL PETER PACE: I would not want acceptance of Alberto Gonzales's behavior to be our policy.

MARY: I had a premonition about you, Peter Pace.

MARINE GENERAL PETER PACE: I will give up food as a sacrifice for you and drink six glasses of water a day. I can go up to 39 hours at a time without nourishment.

MARY: Go away. The wet food is in the fridge. Go get it. I won't eat food pellets with ants on them. Don't touch me or say my name that way.

1 Comments:

Blogger Dusty said...

LMAO..omg this was great for a Sunday morning.

Your a gem :)

Thanks for stopping by my blog.

11:07 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home