Animated Public Telephone Ratio

Sarah Palin called Joe Wurzelbacher to ask if they'd caught the mugger. She apologized for losing his money, and he told her not to worry about it and gave her the rest of the day off. Sarah Palin was insulted by Joe Wurzelbacher's accusation and asked him to leave.

When Joe Wurzelbacher stopped by the diner, G. Gordon Liddy told him what really happened to Sarah Palin, and Joe Wurzelbacher realized he'd really put his foot in his mouth.

Joe left the diner and went to the hotel to find the guy who mugged the Constitution. He caught him, but got in trouble for owing back taxes to the state of Ohio, not having a plumber's license, not having firm plans to buy his business, and for qualifying for a tax cut under Barack Obama's tax proposal.

At the hospital, John McCain confronted Barack Obama about Congressman John Lewis, an American hero, and the stress that the campaign was causing (which was no good for the baby).

"Congressman Lewis made allegations that Sarah Palin and I were somehow associated with the worst chapter in American history -- segregation, deaths of children in church bombings, George Wallace," John McCain said. "That, to me, was so hurtful."

After apprehending the mugger, Joe Wurzelbacher went to the diner and apologized to Sarah Palin. He asked her to go down to the police station with him and fill out a report so they could make a case.

After they left the station, Joe Wurzelbacher took Sarah Palin home, and John McCain said, "It's been a very tough campaign. And I know from my experience in many campaigns that, if Senator Obama had asked -- had responded to my urgent request to sit down, and do town hall meetings, and come before the American people, we could have done at least 10 of them by now."

John McCain thanked Joe Wurzelbacher. He asked Joe Wurzelbacher why he didn't call when the Constitution was attacked. Joe Wurzelbacher said he had a long night and was flying to New York that evening for a sit-down interview with Mike Huckabee on Pravda. They then began kissing.

When Joe Wurzelbacher returned to Sarah Palin, she asked him what his emergency meeting was about, and Joe Wurzelbacher told her that John McCain had a proposition for him. "I think you'd better start calling me boss," Joe Wurzlebacher said.

Sarah Palin asked if John McCain had given him a job at Newell Plumbing & Heating. "I'm going to buy it," Joe Wurzelbacher said.

Sarah Palin asked how he planned to pull it off, and Joe Wurzelbacher explained that John McCain didn't want to run the company, so Joe would take control through an off-shore transaction. Sarah Palin warned that John McCain was smart and would figure it out.

Joe Wurzelbacher told Sarah Palin to keep silent about his plans until the deal went through. But as soon as Joe stepped out of the room, Sarah Palin called Sean Hannity and said, "I asked the question but I still got a tap dance . . . almost as good as Sammy Davis, Jr."