Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Episode Twenty-Seven: "Arnold Conrad's Hands Move No Faster than Race Horses Filmed in Slow Motion"

RHODA: I challenge any one of you to tell me a story about being sung to by an immigration officer.

MURRAY SLAUGHTER: There’s nothing worth knowing or exploring.

MARY: History should be understood and practiced as toys.

RHODA: John McCain's single moment of relative prominence happened a long time ago, and is widely believed to have been dumb luck anyway.

TED BAXTER: Perhaps you can imagine yourself as if you were outdoors on a warm and pleasant day. Do not touch yourself.

RHODA: Mary, I almost want to take a survey, stop each person and ask, "Excuse me, could you tell me the top three reasons you're staring at me?"

MARY: Arnold Conrad, former pastor of Grace Evangelical Free Church in Davenport, Iowa, will appear whenever he has a message for us, and he will come in the form of dreams.

RHODA: Dear Lord, millions of people around this world are praying to their god -- whether it’s Vishnu, Allah, Avalokiteshvara, Horus, Marduk, Loki, Shakyamuni Buddha, Green Tara -- that John McCain's opponent wins, for a variety of reasons. And Lord, I pray that you will guard your own reputation, because they’re going to think that their God is bigger than you, if that happens.

5 Comments:

Blogger William Keckler said...

I miss Gertrude Stein.

Will she have any commentary for us before the election?

Any short two or three word encyclicals from the lap that held Basket?

Who ya channeling today Shimmy?

"For our God is a vengeful God, and that coupon's expired...there's no way I can give you that off on this product...No. I'm serious. It's not gonna happen."

11:21 AM  
Blogger Mistress of Shimmy said...

Yes! Bring back Gertrude Stein. We need her guidance before voting.

11:49 AM  
Blogger Shimmy said...

Hi Bill (il miglior blogger)--

I have bowed before the lap-altar that held basket. She's coming back soon. We often read the Vatican Archive together in its infernal or diabolical sense, which the world shall have if they behave well. Our God is a vengeful God, and you can't return that big-screen TV without a receipt. No way.

Lately, I've been channeling Manly P. Hall's Death to Rebirth. I nap on it when Tony watches TV, but I especially love sleeping on Mutter Museum of the College of Physicians of Philadelphia (Gretchen Worden), which is perfect when I need long, 10-11 hour slumber. Last night I dreamed voices from Debord's Howls for Sade coming through the tasty laptop speaker.

12:57 PM  
Blogger Shimmy said...

O Mistress--

Isn't Gertrude Stein moderating tonight's debate. She better be, or I'll give the Wastebasket Enemy Combatant what for.

12:57 PM  
Blogger Shimmy said...

Bill, in that last comment I made, "basket" should of course be "Basket."

My amanuensis cannot be trusted.

3:14 PM  

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