Thursday, February 15, 2007

Episode Thirteen: "Our Country is Poorly Equipped for Delight"

MARY: Iraqi security forces and American soldiers are patrolling the streets of Baghdad together to provide security so the citizens of Iraq can live in a safer environment.

RHODA: The situation in Iraq is grave and deteriorating. If the situation continues to deteriorate, the consequences could be severe.

MARY: Day after day it happened this way, till I got fed up with it!

MURRAY SLAUGHTER: A slide toward chaos could trigger the collapse of Iraq’s government and a humanitarian catastrophe.

RHODA: Neighboring countries could intervene.

MARY: Sunni-Shia clashes could spread.

RHODA: Al Qaeda could win a propaganda victory and expand its base of operations. The global standing of the United States could be diminished.

MURRAY: Americans could become more polarized.

MARY: There could be too much terror to be president of the war on.

MURRAY: There is significant underreporting of the violence in Iraq. The standard for recording attacks acts as a filter to keep events out of reports and databases.

RHODA: A murder of an Iraqi is not necessarily counted as an attack.

MARY: If we cannot determine the source of a sectarian attack, that assault does not make it into the database.

RHODA: A roadside bomb or a rocket or mortar attack that doesn’t hurt U.S. personnel doesn’t count.

MARY: Professor, take off your bicycle glasses!

RHODA: For example, on one day in July 2006 there were 93 attacks or significant acts of violence reported. Yet a careful review of the reports for that single day brought to light 1,100 acts of violence.

MURRAY: Good policy is difficult to make when information is systematically collected in a way that minimizes its discrepancy with policy goals.

GUY DEBORD: The totalitarian-ideological class in power is the power of Dick Cheney's topsy-turvy world. The stronger it is, the more it claims not to exist, and its force affirms above all to affirm its nonexistence.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahhhh, more hard evidence that the media is overly thoughtful and thoroughly LIBERAL!!

6:05 PM  
Blogger Kimo and Sabi said...

Wow - this made our heads spin...we thought iraq stood fer, iraq of lamb...boy was we wrong - we has been enlightened!

11:06 PM  
Blogger Shimmy said...

Dear Kimo & Sabi,

Iraq fell asleep in Ngo Dinh Diem's bathtub.

Yours,
Shimmy

10:41 PM  
Blogger Shimmy said...

Dearest Taos-Based Reactionary Conservative,

I agree. The New York Times has killed 3,012 U.S. soldiers since the declaration of Mission Accomplished.

Love,
Shimmy

10:43 PM  

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