Monday, February 13, 2006

The Prince of Darkness

Number of U.S. soldiers killed since war began: 2,265

Number of U.S. solidiers wounded since war began: 16,549

Number of U.S. citizens shot in the face and chest by Dick Cheney since war began: 1


Blogger Troglodyte said...

Number of Cheney jokes on The Daily Show and The Colbert Report . . . To Be Determined

5:48 PM  
Blogger aubra said...

Shimmy, the other day I watched as a righteous cat named Sam stared down two very obnoxious and mean squirrels. The stare-off took place atop a backyard fence. Sam, true to his species, kept his cool, didn't move his eyes or flinch in any way as the squirrels approached and retreated, approached and retreated. The squirrels, true to their species, were evil and hyper, and would get really close to super-cool Sam, then they'd run away scared.

Also, I saw baby hummingbirds peeking their miniscule heads out of a tiny nest in a nearby tree. The squirrels were endangering them by sometimes running from the cat into the tree. Bastards.

12:54 AM  
Blogger Troglodyte said...

From The Daily Show last night --
"Jon, tonight the vice president is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Whittington. According to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush. And while the quail turned out to be a 78-year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr. Whittington's face." - Rob Corddry

9:25 AM  
Blogger Shimmy said...


Sam stares unflinched and stony at the squirrels' idiotic scurry. He once saw the poet Mayakovsky excoriate a squirrel family from atop a backyard fence:

"You're teasing me now?
'You have fewer emeralds of madness
than a beggar has kopecks!'
But remember!
When they teased Vesuvius,
Pompeii perished!"

I thought I saw a baby hummingbird sneak out of the radiator this morning. I waited three hours but nothing happened.

9:23 PM  
Blogger Shimmy said...


I agree. Did anyone check Harry Whittington's pockets for yellowcake uranium?

I feel safer because Cheney shot someone and the towel in my newspaper box was washed.

9:27 PM  

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