Thursday, January 12, 2006

List, III

1. Moe Tucker scared away my ghosts.
2. "I've found some pigeon bones down there. And Mary Wollstonecraft, who scared us mightily -- since we couldn't see anything except her glowing eyes in the distance."
3. Margaret Sanger scared the dog, and the dog scared the baby.
4. If Ann Coulter says something you do not want her to, try spraying her with water from a squirty bottle. This deters her from bad behavior, rather than making her scared of you.
5. Exene Cervenka scared the sparrows away.
6. Did Cookie Mueller make the sound of something falling? Or was she scared by something making something fall?
7. "A South African anthropologist said Thursday his research into the death nearly 2 million years ago of an ape-man shows human ancestors were hunted by birds."

7 Comments:

Anonymous janb said...

Shimmy, if I were being haunted by the ghost of a mouse, would I know it? They hide, Shimmy, they were behind the stove and their scrabbly feet touched the saucepan lids in the drawer. Everything had to be disinfected. They suffered, yes, but what now for me? How could they need peanut butter THAT much? Am I right to be frightened?

9:59 PM  
Blogger Troglodyte said...

What should I put in the squirty bottle? Can it be toxic?

8:32 AM  
Blogger Shimmy said...

Jan--

Nina Simone is behind a banyan tree in the compound of the Maharashtra State Electricity Board. Pat Hannan, who was walking his dog at the time, said Anais Nin was behind a fence near the works stockyards. I noticed our neighbors have a bathtub in their side yard -- maybe Diana Rigg was behind that, I told myself, and left for work quickly, wiping at my face, feeling generally itchy.

You're so lucky to have mice.

--Shimmy

11:57 AM  
Blogger Shimmy said...

Trog--

Lemon Pledge.

--Shimmy

11:58 AM  
Anonymous Girl (a Feline-American) said...

This morning there was a small clump of dirt on the hardwood floor. Or possibly a dead bug. It doesn't matter. The point is that I said "Bat bat bat" with my paw. The air surrounding the particle also felt my power.

Tytan was just sleeping on the bed at the time. The old fool!

I can name the seven deadly sins: gluttony, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and wrath. But no one mentions the deadly sin of BEING A DOG.

8:47 AM  
Blogger Shimmy said...

Girl--

I've been sitting in the tub watching water fall and thinking of what you said about sin.

I feel bad for dogs, the way language makes them cower and obey. But it's worse to be a squirrel, pigeon, spider, ant, or ladybug.

If I stare long enough at the spigot, maybe the 2004 election will go away.

--Shimmy

3:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shimmy,

Do you have a mom and dad? They need to call Uncle Roger and Uncle Rand: It's the year of the dog!

7:27 AM  

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