My Index

Number of U.S. presidential elections so far in which the two major-party nominees were both sitting in a windowsill and staring at the street below them: 2

Rank that the age gap between McCain and the black cat across the street would hold among the largest ever between a presidential nominee and a cat living in Chicago: 1

Percentage change between 2002 and 2007 in captives tortured by the CIA after Condoleezza Rice said, "This is your baby, so go do it": 100

Chances that former Secretary of State Colin Powell does not have "sufficient memory recall" of Rice's statement: 3 in 5

Number of Silicon Valley workers earning between $30,000 and $80,000 who have lost their jobs since 2002 and are lucky enough to live in garages eating field mice, chipmunks, and bats: 62,000

Number who have been hired into jobs making less than $30,000 during the same period and are lucky enough to live in garages eating field mice, chipmunks, and bats: 66,000

Percentage, in a recent study, by which the average weight gain of vainglorious rats eating saccharin exceeded that of rats eating sugar: 25

Percentage weight loss by rats eating saccharin or sugar who are chased into a garage in an alley before you kill and eat them: 57