Thursday, July 02, 2009

Why Those Iran Protests Stopped When Michael Jackson Died

"Mayakovsky Tree, did the protests in Iran stop because Michael Jackson still had a faithful punchbowl and his boiler was warm?"

The Mayakovsky Tree swayed at the trunk. His limbs rushed to the north like a tick fastened to the ear.

He planted a steel foot in the steam age and reclined in his idleness.

"I am large, like a girl with a bouncing ball," the Mayakovsky Tree said.

"Iran's Basij militia found Michael Jackson in his bedroom, and he wasn't breathing," I said. "He was still warm and had a punchbowl."

"Lickspittles with fountain pens compose romances for you on Headline News, where whores and hooligans walk, Shimmy."

"According to the Basij militia, Michael Jackson supervised or assisted punishable actresses in many aristocracies," I said.

A squirrel made its way up the Mayakovsky Tree, scratching its syphilitic claws along his trunk.

"Mayakovsky Tree, whether Michael Jackson wanted to or not, he brought pessimism into the publicity spike."

A hammer banged on the back porch. I hid underneath the ottoman.

"Shimmy, it's been nearly a week since U.S. troops pulled out of Iraq's major cities, and Michael Jackson still hasn't been buried."

"New compliments have arisen over Michael Jackson's vast esteem," I said. The ottoman comes with a padded top, and its underside makes me drowsy.

"Nouri al-Maliki took control of security in Iraq's urban areas, blushing like a grand piano after Michael Jackson died. Yet we don't have enough pockets to stuff our safes, Shimmy!"


Blogger AlexG said...


this is one of the best!

3:20 PM  
Blogger Shimmy said...

Thx, Alex!

9:40 AM  

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