Thursday, June 18, 2009

Bristol Palin Gets Emotional Every Time Glenn Beck Says, "President Obama, why don't you just set us on fire?"

At the hostel, Bristol Palin discussed the missing eggplant with her mother.

Sarah Palin even called Bill O'Reilly, the queen of southern Italian vegetables, to find out if he could remember what had happened to the rest of the eggplants.

Bill O'Reilly said, "Dr. George Tiller will kill your baby for $5,000, any reason. Any reason."

Bristol Palin was not in favor of her mother's idea to have more chili sauce.

She ignored Bill O'Reilly when he said, "If we allow Dr. George Tiller and his acolytes to continue, we can no longer pass judgment on any behavior by anybody."

Sarah Palin reminded her daughter that David Letterman would not stop the time clock.

She admitted that David Letterman's prejudice toward freshwater branchiopod crustaceans caught her by surprise and that she really did not understand how they used their biramous antennae as locomotor organs.

She wanted more chili sauce so that she could feel like a good mother.

Bill O'Reilly and Pat Buchanan had fun watching that goofy jellyfish movie on Peter Brimelow's phone.

Pat Buchanan was shocked: his father, Marcus Epstein, approached Bristol Palin and said that he was in town in response to an intuitive reprimand from her mother.

Bristol Palin was surprised that her mother contacted Glenn Beck, too.

She got emotional when Glenn Beck said, "President Obama, why don't you just set us on fire? For the love of Pete, what are you doing?"

But, remember, Glenn Beck promised he'd never modify an electrical treadmill just to torture those dogs (Pit Bulls) again. He invited Bristol Palin and her friends to a steak dinner in Chicago to reduce stiffness and muscle ache. Then he left for Montreal.

The nurse said that Scientologist Greta Van Susteren was agitated, and everyone hoped that President Obama could visit and calm her down. David Letterman offered to accompany Bristol Palin, and the two of them headed for the nurse's home.

Greta Van Susteren returned from grocery shopping with bags full of decomposed elements, artistic debris, and esthetico-technical hybrids.

David Letterman apologized for the excesses of a world which has become foreign to us as if they were excesses foreign to our world.

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