Friday, June 05, 2009

My Supreme Court Nominee: Blixa Bargeld

I am proud to announce my nominee for the next Justice of the United States Supreme Court: Blixa Bargeld.

This decision affects us all -- and so it must involve us all. I recorded a special message to personally introduce Blixa Bargeld and explain why I'm so confident he will make an excellent Justice. But I was speaking into the open mouth of the Wastebasket Enemy Combatant.

Blixa Bargeld has lived the America Dream. This is a cellar. Here I live. This is dark here.

I look after printing and spelling mistakes, which, never finished, belong to Blixa Bargeld.

In the wallpaper, four doors. The tenants stand around the ground floor. Thus they tile the grounds.

Here the architect lives. Dogs and cats eat pepper, wishing for a chair in the sky.

Blixa Bargeld has gone on to earn bipartisan acclaim as one of America's finest junkpile noise generators. Blixa would show fidelity to our Constitution and paint all flat roofs in Washington an energy-reflecting white.

Making roofs a paler color could have the equivalent effect of taking every car in the world off the road for 11 years. For people who find white hard on the eye, Blixa Bargeld has developed "cool colors" which look to the human eye like normal ones, but reflect heat like pale colors even if they are darker shades.

A nomination for a lifetime appointment to the highest court in the land is one of the most important decisions I can make. And the discussions that follow will be among the most important we have as a nation. You can begin the conversation today by letting me out the back door more than one time every morning.

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