List XVI: Backwoods Galloping Inertia Spank

"Likability
is an utterly
worthless measure
of a leader's behavior,
as characters
like Stalin, Idi Amin,
and Milosevic,
among others,
have proven"
(except when
National Public Radio
disproves it).

Here's what you do.
Get off the couch.
Walk into the kitchen.

"There is no doubt
he was tortured.
He has loss
of concentration
and memory loss,
and he suffers
from paranoia."

Funny, how Glenn Beck
talks a blue streak
about Jack Bauer
but says nothing anymore
about all those dogs
he tortured
and killed (pit bulls).

"We're getting
refugees now
who have never
used a telephone,
a toothbrush,
or toilet paper.
Then their children
become
gang-bangers.
It is a disaster."

Unlock the door.
Both locks.
Open it wide enough for me.
Open up the screen door.

"What happens
in war, happens.
It just happened
to be photographed
and come out."

Shut the door.
Don't come back.
Unless I'm hungry again.

Ann Coulter
on The View:
she talks about
Mein Kampf, of course,
but changes the subject
when asked if
she thinks about
dead people when
she's making love.