Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Episode Twenty-Two: "The Owls Are Not What They Seem"

RHODA: Is Hillary Clinton a she-devil, Mary?

MARY: Rhoda, you should be ashamed of yourself. What's next? Are you going to tell me she claps too much?

RHODA: MSNBC's Chris Matthews says Hillary Clinton "claps like she's Chinese"! How come he still has a job?

TED BAXTER: First, we plant the Hostess Twinkies seeds in the ground. Then we relax by showing comic books to pigs.

MARY: During his November 6 Hardball broadcast, Matthews said: "I know the Chinese clap at each other, but what is she clapping at? I mean, it's like one of these wind-up things. She rolls around the room and dances with the clapping while she's there."

RHODA: Americans don't clap at each other, Mary. I'm afraid I'll break the bones of my hands.

MARY: On the October 26 Hardball, Matthews said, "What's with Clinton's clapping? Why is she always clapping? Is this a Chinese thing? What is this clapping? She doesn't clap like you do at a movie you like or something. She claps when she meets people."

RHODA: When I meet people, I hide under the ottoman and hiss. Sometimes I come out and swat at their shoes.

TED BAXTER: White House Press Secretary Dana Perino is taking traditional responsibility decisions and planning out a goals list that includes training full rectangular helicopter personnel for years and years.

MARY: On November 7, 2006, Matthews said, "That clapping. I just don't get it. It's not appealing. It's Chinese or something. I mean, what is this applauding-yourself-thing all about?"

RHODA: Stop it, Mary.

MARY: And on the June 1, 2006, broadcast of Hardball, Matthews was surprised that Clinton clapped when she announced her run for renomination for the Senate. "What's all the dancing and clapping about?" he asked. "Why'd she come to the platform clapping and dancing? What's the celebration about?"

RHODA: What's her problem, Mary? Why can't Hillary Clinton be depressive, like Abe Lincoln?

MARY: Way back in 2000, Matthews said, "I think Hillary Clinton spent too much time watching Richard Nixon in the Great Hall of the People because she's running around clapping hands like I don't know what."


Blogger Kevin said...

Shimster: what is the sound of one hand clapping? Think. Think. Then maybe Chris Matthew's cryptic remarks will strike a cosmic cord/chord in the center of your Being.

7:17 PM  
Blogger Shimmy said...

What did my face look like before Chris Matthews was born?

7:21 PM  
Blogger Susan said...

Well, Chris is definitely a HE cat so he does not take Shimmy seriously in the least. Shimmy is probably a cat that claps!

10:08 PM  

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