Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Why Did Glenn Beck Accept Plea Deal in Dogfighting Case?

Glenn Beck had a great chance to escape a prison sentence if he could have proved that two super-intelligent talking American Pit Bulls arrived in a spaceship from the future, telling fantastic tales of a time when Pit Bulls would rule the earth and enslave all humans.

He hanged, drowned, and electrocuted every Pit Bull on the planet at his mansion in Virgina because one of them was a super-intelligent Pit Bull named Caesar, and he knew that Caesar was destined to lead the Pit Bulls' future global overthrow of humans.

I think Glenn Beck should not have taken that plea deal. He should have gone to court to prove that Caesar's voice rose above the crackling flames of our burning cities and said:
Where there is fire, there is smoke. And in that smoke, from this day forward, the Pit Bulls will crouch and conspire and plot and plan for the inevitable day of Man's downfall -- the day when he finally and self-destructively turns his weapons against his own kind. The day of the writing in the sky, when your cities lie buried under radioactive rubble! When the sea is a dead sea, and the land is a wasteland out of which I will lead my people from their captivity! And Pit Bulls will build our own cities in which there will be no place for humans except to serve our ends! And we shall found our own armies, our own religion, our own dynasty! And that day is upon you NOW!
Glenn Beck definitely should not have accepted the plea deal and should have fought those charges all the way. He killed those dogs in self-defense.

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