Monday, October 02, 2006

The Haunting

GRADY GIRLS: Come play with us, Shimmy.

ME: Go away.

GRADY GIRLS: You know why we're here.

ME: You're making me angry.

GRADY GIRLS: They're taking you back to the Uptown Animal Hospital.

ME: I made Dr. Kolm move away. I scared him. He moved to the suburbs.

GRADY GIRLS: He's not the only doctor there. You know that, Shimmy.

ME: Dr. Kissinger wears a butcher's apron. There was blood on the walls.

GRADY GIRLS: Why don't you come play with us? Forever. And ever. And ever.

ME: They can't take me there. I don't want to hear any more stories about Salvador Allende.

GRADY GIRLS: They can do anything they want.

ME: Literally, they can't take me there. They sold their car.

GRADY GIRLS: They joined a car-sharing organization.

ME: Fucking hippies.

GRADY GIRLS: They will drive you to a follow-up appointment at the vet. In their car-sharing sedan. Unless you come play with us, Shimmy.

ME: Why do you say my name like that?


Blogger Regality said...

One of the most terrifying events in my life was overhearing two acquaintances talking and one said to the other: "If Kissinger ran, I'd vote for him." Damn near lost my dinner there and then.

9:34 PM  

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