Sunday, March 19, 2006

Episode Seven: "Ann Coulter Death Trip"

RHODA: Is Ann Coulter the Angel of Death?

MARY: The President of the War on Terror is concerned about the broader message Ann Coulter sends to our friends and allies around the world, particularly in the Middle East.

RHODA: That's why she's not guarding our ports anymore in New Orleans, Miami, New Jersey, Philadelphia, Baltimore, and New York.

MARY: It's almost spring and round glazed moths will fly into my mouth. They taste like mustard.

RHODA: Mary, a couple months ago, Ann Coulter told an audience at Philander Smith College: "We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice [John Paul] Stevens’ creme brulee."

MARY: How come she wasn't arrested? Why isn't Ann Coulter in jail right now?

RHODA: If I said that in an airport screening line or on a wiretapped phone call, I'd be propped on a milk crate in Abu Ghraib.

MARY: With a hood over your head, Rhoda, and wires attached to your fingers.

RHODA: Mary, you'll be electrocuted if you don't eat the creme brulee.

MARY: Ann Coulter is upright and cunning, like a large, wet cardboard box.

RHODA: In January 2002, she said: "We need to execute people like John Walker in order to physically intimidate liberals, by making them realize that they can be killed, too. Otherwise, they will turn out to be outright traitors."

MARY: Ann Coulter thinks about dead people when she's making love.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Strom Thurman said...

i don't know who you are, but i saw you post on my friend's blog "seniorstudyhall" - all i can say about your latest blog is "right on" and "hilarious." after the denison visit ann took me back to her hotel room and made me wear a dress. she called me filthy and said my hair wasn't blond enough. then she put in a VHS tape she said she had had since college. it was a documentary about Mussolini and it had alot of fuzz in the picture like it had been watched alot. she watched it with the sound off and got really drunk. i don't like to talk about what happened after that...

10:41 PM  
Blogger A. said...

"Ann Coulter thinks about dead people when she's making love."

The more I consider this sentence, the more upset I get.

But that's pretty kickass that you're getting comments from Strom from beyond the grave!

9:03 AM  
Blogger J. Edward Tremlett said...

SOmeone on another board I used to hang out on said "People hate Anne Coulter because they can't stand a good looking woman who is liberated enough to lay her eggs in a pile of corpses"

And since turnabout plugging is fair play

http://rant-farm.blogspot.com/2006/03/new-unnamed-ann-coulter-book-out-on.html

J

3:45 PM  
Blogger Alexander said...

Ann Coulter can only GET dead people to make love to her.

10:05 AM  
Blogger A. said...

NEWS FLASH: Caspar Weinberger now has a shot at Ann Coulter.

11:48 AM  

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